Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
