evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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