when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
