It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
