how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
