what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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