hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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