so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
