So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
