Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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