I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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