No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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