ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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