So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
