i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
