Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
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No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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