So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
