Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
