dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
babies were throwing up all over the place
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You made out with two different species that night
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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