I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
