i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
