Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize