omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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