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that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
