Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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