Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
