WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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