Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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