I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
