last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
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and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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