one might say we're banned from that church
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The struggles of a small town man whore
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
