Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
