you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
