it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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