I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
