Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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