it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
