wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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