In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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