I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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