I got chris browned last night
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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