Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
