its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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