I have demons in me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
