glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
