fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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