dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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