can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize