Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
