I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
