Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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