maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
