in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
