I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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