My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
