i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Never underestimate the power of titties
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
