Cold hands, warm shart.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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